I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
