Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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