so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
