Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
