she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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