His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
