it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I am one with the molecules
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
