I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
