oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
