I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
