just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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