My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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