Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
