sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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