The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
