well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
