id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
