apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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