we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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