I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
