my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
he shaved USA in his pubs
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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