babies were throwing up all over the place
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
