oh god the rape fog is back!
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
