I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
