so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
