ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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