Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Boobs are out for the taking
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
