3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
