I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
