I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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