After last night, I could never be a politician.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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