dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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