is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
