She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
