You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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