whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
