It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
