See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
