Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Randomize
