i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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