its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
