Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
