Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
