I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I want a musical about memes.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
