If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
