I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
