No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
