if i can run in heels then i can drive
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
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