I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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