i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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